Now before I was a dog, I used to design websites and I must admit I liked to make things bounce and ping about and all that kind of malarchy. But having the wisdom that I do now from being a dog, I’ve realised that the bouncing hard to read menu’s etc. are only really for the benefit of the frustraded ego’s belonging to the underpaid designers who created them.
It saddens and humours me to see the many silly and hopelessly inaccesable pages on the internet, I mean the poor businesses that pay there hard earned cash for these useless files of data are probably better of paying a small dog to take care of their sites. I know the dog would probably just eat the money, and nothing would appear on the internet, but hey, in many cases this is probably more effective.
Take flash(*) for example, no dog in it’s right mind would know how to download flash player, so by using flash, you immediately exclude the majority of canine internet users from your site, and this can often have disastrous effects (small tidal waves, failing crops, explosions etc.)
So my advice to businesses and consumers alike, is to not hire web designers based on portfolio. Instead you should ask them about canine accessability, if they look blank and continue to explain to you that they can make you logo animated and fly about the page, slap them with a kipper.
*A Tool for web designers to make web pages bounce and ping about
Leave a Reply